Anna, a 34-year-old woman, never thought her beloved husband could change so much. In a letter to us, Anna shared her story. She told how, after her husband treated her terribly during the birth of their baby, she taught him a hard but important lesson.
Anna began her letter, “My husband and I have been happily married for over 10 years. I always thought we had a perfect relationship, and I believed he truly loved me. But his behavior during an important time in our lives made me question his feelings and character.”
She continued, “We had a serious fight before our daughter’s birth. Out of nowhere, he casually suggested a paternity test for our baby when she was born. This was completely unexpected; he didn’t give any reason. I work part-time from home and have no male friends other than my brother.”
“I asked if he was accusing me of cheating, and he said he ‘just wanted to be sure.’ He kept bringing it up, and the stress started to make me sick. I told him I didn’t want to talk to him and went to stay at my brother’s house.” Anna’s story shows the emotional pain and distrust that can happen in a relationship when communication breaks down and unfounded suspicions arise.
Anna shared, “I was devastated by our argument. I thought a lot about how to fix things. I called him while I was away and tried to talk, but he refused.”
Remembering what happened next, Anna became very emotional. She wrote, “After being ignored and humiliated, I went back home after two days to get some things while my husband was at work. That’s when I went into labor. I called him 30 times. I then called my brother, who also tried to reach him while coming to pick me up and on the way to the hospital.”
“It was a terrible and traumatic birth. I started crowning in the car, and the doctor had to deliver my daughter in the back of my brother’s van because I was too far along to move. I kept bleeding, so they rushed me to the hospital. It was awful. I hated every moment of it.”
“My brother’s wife, who is a nurse, told me she honestly thought I wouldn’t make it. I ended up needing a hysterectomy because it was that or something even more dangerous. I only ever wanted one child, maybe none, but my husband wants a large family. Now, I’m trying to bond with my daughter, but it’s been really hard.”
Anna and her brother decided it was time to give her husband a wake-up call.
Anna shared, “During this horrible time, while I was coming out of surgery—10 hours after I first called—my husband finally responded. He immediately asked why I hadn’t answered his call. My brother had my phone and we were both so angry. My brother then said to him, ‘Hey, it’s Derek. I’m at the hospital. She didn’t make it.’ And then he turned the phone off.”
Anna continued, “My husband rushed over and arrived at the hospital just as I was waking up. He started shouting, and security had to force him out. He didn’t get to see our daughter until the next day because I was asleep and they needed my signature to let him back in.
My whole family thinks it was incredibly cruel, but we all agree he deserved it. My brother keeps telling him that I nearly died because we waited for him. My brother used to be mostly indifferent about my husband, but now he absolutely hates him. You can see it on his face whenever my husband enters the room.”
Anna feels completely lost because of her husband’s behavior.
Anna went on, “After everything settled down a bit, my husband tried to apologize. He kept saying he didn’t mean to cause so much stress and that he just wanted to be sure about the baby. But his words felt hollow to me. I couldn’t shake the feeling of betrayal. I told him, ‘How can I ever trust you again?’”
She continued, “We decided to try counseling, hoping it would help us rebuild our relationship. The sessions were tough. There were a lot of tears, a lot of anger. At one point, I just broke down and told him, ‘I needed you. You weren’t there. You chose your doubts over your family.’”
Anna shared, “My brother’s anger towards my husband didn’t fade. He was civil, but you could feel the tension. Every time we had a family gathering, it was like walking on eggshells. My husband felt it too, and it was driving a wedge between us even further.
Eventually, my husband started changing his behavior, trying to prove he could be trusted again. He became more involved with our daughter, helping with every little thing. He told me, ‘I want to earn your trust back, Anna. I know I messed up, but I want to fix this.’ It’s been a long journey, and we’re still not fully there yet. But I’m hopeful.”
