Without my phone vibrating in my palm every few minutes, I had forgotten what it was like to just live. I had forgotten what it was like. Over the course of many years, my life had been a haze of never-ending meetings, code reviews, calls from investors, and late evenings spent bent over a laptop. At some point, my software firm took all I had, including my time, my energy, and my viewpoint.
Lydia, my sister, was the one who ultimately took the initiative to step in and help. She virtually pushed me aboard the aircraft, dismissing my objections with the authoritative authority of an older sister that she had honed since she was a youngster.
“You are completely exhausted,” she remarked. “Instead of breathing recycled workplace ventilation, you should be breathing in fresh air. Have a week off. Find a place where there is no noise. Take no action. It is not a recommendation; rather, it is a command.
It was three days into what was intended to be my grand escape from the commotion when I found myself in a quiet beach village. This is how I got there. There was no question that the location was stunning; it included old boardwalks that reminisced about previous summers, salty winds that tangled your hair, and streets that were so silent that you could hear the birds from a distance before you ever saw them.
Nevertheless, despite my best efforts, I was unable to escape the impression that I did not belong in that location. People walked more slowly, smiled at strangers, and did not seem to estimate their value based on the number of emails they had not yet seen. Despite my admiration for it, I was unable to match their beat.
That morning, after another night of tossing and turning, I made the decision to go for a run since I was feeling restless. Perhaps I could release some of the anxiety that was clinging to me like a second skin by working up a sweat.
The streets were quiet, and they were bordered with neat gardens and residences that were painted in pastel colors. A high-pitched voice could be heard coming from behind me just as I was beginning to find my rhythm.
This is Mr. Hold on! Howdy, Mr. I am familiar with you!
When I looked around, I saw a little girl, who was probably no older than eight years old, running toward me. While her cheeks were flushed with excitement, her black locks were bouncing about furiously.
Almost as if she were struggling to recover her breath, she came to a halt directly in front of me.
Come with me, Mr., I call you! Have a look at my mother, please! “Oh, please!”
Instinctively, I took a few steps backwards while simultaneously raising my hands in a tone of mild alarm.
“Whoa, just take it easy. Just what is your name? “And… in what specific way do you know me?”
At that moment, her large brown eyes fixed themselves on me, full with assurance.
“Hello, my name is Lily? And my mother has a photo of you in her wallet. I am constantly made aware of it!
My eyes darted to look at her as I attempted to make sense of what she had just said.
I stated it with great care, “That… doesn’t seem possible anymore.” The phrase “I don’t know anyone here”
She repeated, “Yes, you do!” while nearly bouncing on her toes all the while. This is my mother, right?
“Alright,” I continued in a quiet voice, “what is the name of your mother?” I don’t see why she would have my image.
“Her name is Julia,” Lily declared with a sense of pride. “When she is under the impression that I am not monitoring, she sometimes peeks at your photo… and after that, she becomes really silent.”
Something in my chest became more constricted. A Julia? I was completely uninterested in the name. To put it another way, I didn’t believe it did.
“Okay,” I answered with some trepidation. “I’ll walk with you, but I won’t be holding your hand like that, okay? There is no way I want somebody to get the wrong idea.
She gave a somber nod, but the smile that was always on her face remained constant. After that, she took the lead, skipping more than walking and periodically looking over her shoulder to make sure that I was still following.
We came to a halt in front of a blue shuttered white home that was rather unassuming. There was a riot of flowers in the front yard, including vivid reds, cheerful yellows, and deep purples, all of which were falling over one another in a spectacular display of wild beauty.
The door to the screen room was thrown open by Lily, who rushed up the stairs.
“Must be, Mom! He is present! The individual who is in your wallet!
My heart rate quickened, and I remained still on the sidewalk, my mind frantically searching for a plausible explanation for what had just happened.
Lily returned a few moments later, this time gripping the hand of another lady.
And then I encountered her.
As if the world had come to a halt.
Both of her eyes widened. As if she had been hit, she brought her hand all the way up to her lips, and for a little period, she did not move at all. With my pulse pounding in my ears, I glanced back at him, just as astonished as he was.
Putting her face in position took me a few seconds to do. In spite of the fact that time had altered her appearance, softening certain lines and deepening others, the instant I recognized her, it was as if a dam had broken across my memory.
“Marissa who?” When I finally spoke, it was a trembling whisper.
Suddenly, her hand fell away from her lips. Her stare became more resolute.
“You left,” she said in a direct manner. It was on that day in the café. You said to me that you did not want to be with someone who was simply concerned with your financial situation.
It was as if the words had punched me in the belly. At that time. I had a vague recollection of it. When I thought back to the fight, I could hear the harsh edge in my own voice and the skepticism evident in hers.
In contrast, I had felt so certain at the time.
Without a doubt.
“I—” Initially, I began, but she interrupted me.
The words “you accused me of being a gold digger” came out of her mouth, and her voice was shaking now. “You informed me that your sister has evidence, records demonstrating that I had enormous debts. Nevertheless, Aaron, I have never been in debt. Not a single one of them.”
My stomach was in a spin.
It’s Lydia.
I had been under the impression that she was just concerned about my well-being. It dawned on me that the documents, printed emails, and bank statements that she had shown to me were all items that might have been fabricated in a single afternoon. In particular, as my business expanded, I had been experiencing paranoia about being exploited. Marissa, on the other hand, had been caught in the crossfire of my mistrust.
She went on to say, “I knew that if I told you I was pregnant, it would just confirm your sister’s lies,” and her eyes sparkled as she finished her sentence. “You really would have believed that I was trying to catch you. And I couldn’t possibly subject myself to it. It was my pride that kept me from loving you.
As I glanced down at Lily, I saw that she had moved closer to her mother’s side, and her sweet little face was filled with uncertainty.
It’s my daughter.
Suddenly, the understanding washed over me like a tsunami. I hadn’t been there for a single second throughout the eight years that had passed since she had had her first child.
When it was eventually my turn to speak, my voice was raw.
Why ‘Julia’ is it? What’s the matter, Marissa?
It seemed as if she was preparing herself by folding her arms over her chest.
“My middle name is Marissa,” she said. I made use of it in the year that we connected, after the passing of my grandmother, who also went by the name Marissa. I had the impression that you were aware of it. On the other hand, I suppose there were a lot of things about me that you were unaware of. You never stopped being… busy.
Although she spoke with a more kind tone, the pain that was seen in her eyes did not go away.
I took a deep breath. It was my mistake. In regard to everything. I was a believer in falsehoods, and I allowed them to harm us. I don’t anticipate that you would accept my apology right now, but… I have a desire to put everything in order. If I may be so fortunate.”
A lengthy, quiet interval passed during which she observed me.
She finally broke her silence and stated, “This is no longer about you and me.” “It is all about her.” She gave Lily a quick peek down. “If you want to be a part of her life, you have to work hard to earn her approval. There is no vanishing. There is no justification. Because if you made her suffer…
I immediately responded, “I won’t,” with a more steady tone in my voice. “I will be present. Due to her. To both of you, please.”
Her shoulders seemed to relax ever-so-slightly.
Her tone was guarded as she continued, “We can try.” “However, slowly. And if I even get a glimpse of the fact that you are going to disappear once more—”
Before she could continue her statement, Lily quickly rushed forward and wrapped her arms around my waist. She was unable to finish her sentence.
I hesitated for a fraction of an instant before placing my arms around her little figure and felt the warmth of her face against my shirt.
The healing process started for something inside me, something that I hadn’t even aware was damaged.
I was searching for a break from the monotony of my daily routine, so I traveled to that town. It turned out that my sister was correct; I did need a vacation from my life.
However, I had not anticipated that break would bring me to this place, to a little child with wild hair and a grin that had the power to destroy me, to a lady whom I had once loved but had been estranged from due to my own actions.
What I had not anticipated was to discover not tranquility but rather a second opportunity.
In addition, I was not going to throw away this opportunity.
