A woman and her children faced a bleak future after their father deserted them. To provide for her kids and support their education, she resorted to morally questionable jobs. Unbeknownst to her, these choices would later haunt her daughter’s life, casting a dark cloud over her future.
On May 16, 2023, an anonymous female contributor shared her story in the “AITAH” subreddit. The 26-year-old woman, who wasn’t from the U.S., began her story by recalling how her father abandoned her and her mother when she was five years old, leaving them in dire poverty. She also had a 21-year-old younger brother, who later left the country with his mistress, severing all ties with his family.
Struggling to make ends meet, the woman’s mother resorted to some “immoral stuff” to put food on the table. She worked as a stripper and sometimes engaged in activities she wasn’t proud of to ensure her children had a shot at education. Despite the unconventional circumstances, the woman and her brother were sent to school, a testament to their mom’s sacrifices.Understanding the desperate situation they were in, the woman never felt shame for her mother’s actions; she recognized the sacrifices made to secure a better future for them. At 14, the woman started working part-time while excelling academically, earning a scholarship at a reputable university.
Her determination and hard work paid off, opening doors to opportunities previously out of reach. Eventually, her brother also secured a part-time job, alleviating financial strain on the family. As time passed, the woman’s mother decided to quit stripping, finding steadier employment as a waitress.
Finding Love
In college, the woman met her fiancé, Javi, 27, marking her first serious relationship. Their love was genuine, but she harbored a significant secret. She had never divulged her mother’s challenging past, a promise she made to her mom, who insisted on keeping their history hidden.
Despite their breakup, she expressed her enduring love for him and the difficulty of moving on from their six-year relationship.
Despite the financial struggles, Javi knew about the family’s poverty but never judged them; he was a kind and caring partner, even contributing to the woman’s brother’s education against her protests.A turning point came when the woman and her mother visited Javi’s house to meet his parents, unaware that his uncle and aunt would also be present. When her mother saw his uncle, her face turned pale, clearly rattled. His uncle’s intense gaze suggested recognition, making her mother visibly uneasy.
What Happened after the OP and Her Mom Left Javi’s House?
Uncomfortable, her mother wanted to leave, prompting an early departure from the gathering. Javi, perplexed by the situation, was left in the dark. “The next day, my fiancé came to our place and shouted at me that I lied to him,” said the woman about Javi’s visit to her place. “He said that I am a gold digger just like my mother, and my mother is the reason why his uncle’s first marriage broke.”
Facing a barrage of accusations, the woman demanded an explanation from Javi, bewildered by his sudden anger. He claimed that his uncle knew her mother and was a regular client of her services. When his uncle’s wife discovered the affair, she promptly filed for divorce. The woman’s mother, genuinely unaware of the man’s marital status, was devastated.
In a heated exchange, the original poster defended her mother, emphasizing the responsibility lay with the married man who had hired escorts. Javi, however, remained unmoved, branding her and her mother with derogatory labels. Despite her mother’s pleas, he threatened to end their engagement, making it clear he couldn’t accept her family background.
What Became of the OP and Javi’s Relationship?
Faced with a difficult decision, the woman chose to end the relationship. Returning the engagement ring, she refused to tolerate the prejudice and pain Javi’s judgment would inflict on her mother.
Despite her mother’s worries about her future, the woman stood her ground, refusing to be ashamed of her family’s history. Ultimately, she questioned if she was wrong for her choice, seeking validation for her actions.
Clarifying the situation, the OP shared that Javi was informed about most aspects of her life, encompassing the challenges posed by her father’s departure and their financial struggles. While she dropped hints about her mother’s difficult circumstances, she never explicitly disclosed details about her work history, respecting her mom’s wishes to avoid complications.
Furthermore, she emphasized that she never asked Javi to assist with her brother’s education; his contribution was voluntary. Despite their breakup, she expressed her enduring love for him and the difficulty of moving on from their six-year relationship.
A Final Update
In an update on May 26, the woman expressed her gratitude for the overwhelming support from strangers, highlighting the unexpected kindness from an online community. Despite her fears, she received less hate than anticipated, especially considering her mother’s past profession.
The situation took a turn when, after breaking off the engagement, the woman faced pressure from friends and Javi’s family, urging her to reconsider. Javi, in a moment of emotional vulnerability, apologized and expressed his love, but under the condition that her mother would not be involved in any wedding functions due to her past.
He argued that his family, particularly his uncle, would find it challenging to be around her mom. This demand made the OP realize that her feelings and family were never truly considered; it was about satisfying his family’s expectations.
Refusing to succumb to these demands, the woman stood firm, recognizing her mother’s sacrifices and refusing to be judged for her background. She ended the relationship, emphasizing her determination not to compromise her family’s integrity. Feeling emotionally drained, she contemplated relocating due to the potential backlash at her workplace, where she feared she might be ostracized.
In a final message to Javi, the OP expressed her sorrow for not disclosing her mother’s past earlier but lamented the relationship’s end. She resolved to repay the money Javi had contributed to her brother’s education, not wanting to be accused of using him for financial gain.
Additionally, she confronted religious groups criticizing her mom, highlighting the hypocrisy of supposedly religious individuals involved in her mother’s previous profession.
The Online Reaction
What are your thoughts on this story? Was the OP right to break off her engagement and support her mom, or should she have done things differently? Click here to read another story about a woman who shamed her stepdaughter for her career and being childless, so the latter said she had eight biological kids.