Always just me and Malik.
No support, no village to call. We survived each day with wounded knees, empty cupboards, and murmured prayers into soiled pillowcases.
I had 22-year-old Malik. His father fled before I could say “pregnant.” I held that small kid in my shaky arms, terrified. He seemed little, and I felt unprepared.
Thirteen years passed. I still don’t understand. I sleep exhausted from serving tables and cleaning offices and smell like bleach and fried food.
Malik grew up in the pandemonium. I watch him shrinking and fighting the earth beneath his weight. He smashes doors, speaks back, and laughs with tension like it’s frightened to be loud.
He’s okay. But his recent decisions were. Avoiding school. Fighting. His harsh tongue caused more harm than good. The principal phoned last month—Malik had pushed another youngster down the stairs.
Three weeks ago, cops arrived. They sat in our tight kitchen with sour coffee breath and repeated warnings: “You need to get your son on track.”
I slumped on the hallway floor and wept till I hurt after they departed. Cried for my son. For the beautiful kid who snuggled up with me during awful dreams. For his growing strangerhood. And for myself—for being exhausted, overworked, and unable to change it.
I guess he heard me since he sat alongside me silently. At last, he confessed quietly:
I’m sorry, Ma. Not meant to make you cry.”
I wiped my eyes and didn’t reply.
“I wanna do better,” he remarked. Please be proud of me. Really.”
I stayed up that night. I didn’t disbelieve him. And it scared me.
Then something changed. He woke early. He made bed. Helped neighbors. Dog of Mrs. Hutchins. The Robins’ yard. Silent dishes.
I remained vigilant. Hope is fragile.
One day, he brought a dented soup can, buns, and roast chicken home.
“Dinner,” he said. “I got it from the discount bin.”
Another night, towel over shoulder, he added, “I’m saving up. For your birthday. Want to buy you something real.”
I nodded, heart thudding, and left before tears returned.
A knock came in the morning.
I was in my robe drinking lukewarm coffee when it arrived. Unlikely friendly knock. The weight was purposeful. Looking outdoors, I froze.
Three black-suited dudes. SUV fleet. Spy movie material.
One showed a picture. “Is this your son?”
I clung to my cup. Panic ensued. “Please,” I said. “He tried. His condition is improving. He didn’t intend—”
A fresh voice said “Ma’am.” Commanding, calm. Blind yet dignified, an older guy appeared behind them. A navy woman guided him.
“I met your son yesterday at the grocery store,” he added. “I left my wallet in the car. Your boy witnessed my struggle. He purchased me food. No hesitation.”
I opened my mouth but said nothing.
“I asked why,” he said. “He said, ‘You resembled my grandfather. My mother insists we don’t pass needy individuals.
Malik entered the hall, wiping his eyes.
Where did you get the cash? I requested.
He looked down. Have been working. To make your birthday special.”
Burning tears.
The man gave me a card. A name. A number.
“Call me,” he said. In due time. I want to fund his schooling. Any school. Any dream.”
Right away, they departed. No cameras. No fanfare. Just quiet grace.
Malik looked at me, uncertain. “Did I mess up?”
I laughed through tears. “No, baby. You did everything right.”
He sank into my arms as he hadn’t done in years. “I thought it didn’t matter. That I already damaged everything.”
“It always mattered,” I said. “I was just waiting for you to believe it.”
I found a message in my coat pocket that night. His sloppy yet diligent writing:
“Ma, I’ve erred. I realize fixing things may take time. I’ll keep trying my whole life. No joke. I adore you. -Malik”
Read twice. Then again. Release tears.
Two days later, school phoned. I anticipated more terrible news.
Instead, Miss Daniels told me Malik’s painting was on display. Perhaps you should see it.”
I arrived on time after leaving work early.
His composition was “In Pieces, Still Whole.”
Broken portrait mosaic reconstructed with gold. Face broken but held together. Like kintsugi. He didn’t know the word but recognized the reality.
He stopped when he noticed me across the room. I grinned.
“You did good, baby,” I said.
Smiled back.
My birthday. I wasn’t hopeful.
Malik stood in the kitchen with a lopsided chocolate cake, jarred wildflowers, and a little gift bag.
“Happy birthday, Ma.”
The pack contains moonstone hoop earrings. My fave.
“I love them,” I said. “But not as much as I love you.”
He beams.
I finally felt it. Not just pride.
Peace.
