I thought my mother-in-law giving me a birthday party was exceptional compassion until she rose up and tapped her. Before she got up, tapped her glass, and said the birthday party wasn’t for me, I believed my mother-in-law’s compassion was exceptional.
My 36th birthday is coming week. Though it’s hardly a milestone, I’ve always loved to celebrate with a little supper and wine. I never liked huge gatherings, even as a youngster.
I suppose life has been stable. I work part-time as a freelance artist, pick up my eight-year-old son Liam from school, and fold clothes before it becomes an impromptu art project on the sofa.
Mortgage brokers work long hours, including my husband Ben. He snores midway through a movie and says he’s “just resting his eyes.” Sweet and devoted, although not always observant. Finally, Evelyn, my mother-in-law.
Evelyn has always had perfectly groomed hair and a voice that makes you feel like you’re on a game show. She’s not harsh, but she makes every occasion revolve about her, from baby showers to promotion dinners. We never connected.
She stated during Sunday breakfast a few weeks ago, “I just enrolled in an online class. Planning an event! Can you imagine?
Behind his toast, Ben blinked. “Wow… okay, Mom.”
“It’s never too late to learn something new,” she said. “I’ve always had a knack for details.”
I nodded nicely. “That’s great, Evelyn.”
Like an Oscar winner, she drank her sparkling water. “Which brings me to you, Anna.”
“Me?”
“Yes! Your birthday is a great time for me to practice. Will give you a party!”
I objected, but she raised her hand.
Leaning forward, she murmured, “Please.” “It will give me practical experience. And you deserve praise. You help so many.”
A weird sweetness. I glanced at Ben, who shrugged, What’s wrong?
“Okay,” I answered softly. “Sure.”
Her face shone. “Fabulous!”
As she cleared the dishes, she said, almost casually, “Oh, and would you mind covering the cost for food and decorations? The guest list, setup, and everything else are my responsibility. Trust me.”
To avoid seeming impolite, I agreed.
I paid for the caterer, flowers, and personalized cake. She kept me mainly in the dark “to keep it a surprise.”
Last Saturday was the celebration.
Ben raced to get last-minute wine while I helped Liam select a clothing in the morning. We arrived to Evelyn’s charming garden setting, which was gorgeous. Luxurious linens, pink flowers, and soft lighting. There was a DJ.
“Wow,” I told her. “You went all out.”
Evelyn smiled. Only the finest for my daughter-in-law.”
Despite everything, I was moved.
Visitors arrived. My BFF Dana brought her renowned spinach puffs. Ben’s cousin Ryan double-fists drinks. I almost dropped my handbag when Megan, my sister-in-law, embraced me.
She exclaimed, “Happy early birthday, girl!” This is amazing.”
“Yeah, Evelyn really worked her magic,” I responded.
I took photographs, chatted, and tried to persuade myself I was the guest of honor. It felt weird. Evelyn was everywhere, ordering personnel, giving favors, and making mini-announcements like an awards presentation.
I glanced around and knew… Half the individuals were unfamiliar.
Ben muttered, “Anna,” approaching me. “Who’s that big-hatted woman?”
“No idea,” I said.
Evelyn waved as she heard. “Oh! Carol is from my event planning group. I invited several classmates to network.”
My jaw fell. “You invited strangers to my birthday?”
She chuckled. “Networking, honey! Be less critical.”
I smiled and accepted it as “typical Evelyn.” I awaited the time when everyone would sing and ignite candles. But it never arrived.
Clink of a fork on a glass followed.
Everyone turned.
Evelyn led with her wine glass up.
Ben nudges. Looks like your big toast.”
Standing, I smoothed my clothes, waited.
Evelyn regarded me. Sit down. It’s not your celebration.”
Room stilled.
Then she started.
“I organized all this today because Megan has something far more meaningful to share than Anna’s little birthday,” she said into the microphone, her voice firm and theatrical.
The air left my chest like a blow.
“Megan, sweetheart, stand up and tell everyone,” Evelyn called, beaming.
Megan, my sister-in-law, who had discussed her reproductive issues with me on long walks, rose up and put her hands on her tummy.
“I’m pregnant!” she said, smiling widely.
The room burst. Some folks whistled and cheered. I heard a stranger shout, “Finally!” Another individual clapped so violently I feared they broke something.
Sitting in the backdrop of my existence, I was an extra.
Evelyn ruled again. “We waited so long! So much sadness has happened to Megan. But now, our miraculous baby is coming!”
I stayed put. I couldn’t.
Ben leaned in. “Anna… Are you okay?
I remained silent.
Evelyn looked at me and grinned triumphantly.
Anna, thanks for making tonight possible. You provide so much.”
The end. That was my “toast.”
No “happy birthday,” candles, or song.
I felt like a train struck me. I rose silently, pulled back my chair, and went to the bathroom before tears fell.
I faced my reflection inside. Watery eyes and smeared lipstick. I slapped my face with cool water and attempted to control my quivering hands.
Knocking at the door.
It was Megan.
“Hey,” she whispered. Are you okay?
I faced her. Was this never about me?
She smiled less. “I had no idea Mom would do this. She promised to ‘make an announcement,’ but I didn’t realize she would hijack your birthday.”
Did you want tonight’s huge reveal? I requested.
She paused. “It was thrilling… I was surprised by the response.”
I nodded slowly. “Well, I didn’t expect to pay for my ambush either.”
She dropped her eyes. Anna, I’m sorry. Really.”
So I left it. Yelling was pointless. Megan did not design this.
Evelyn and her companion were talking near the dessert table after visitors departed and chairs were folded.
“Can we talk?” My voice was even yet forceful.
She seemed astonished but dismissed her buddy.
“What is it?” she inquired.
I approached. You humiliated me. My birthday became a Megan news spectacle because to you.”
She blinked like I was speaking another language. You have a birthday every year, sweetheart. A baby, though? Once in a lifetime.”
My jaw tightened. So using my money is justified? My name?”
She sneered. “You’re dramatic.”
I stopped talking. Ben was uncomfortably standing beside the vehicle as I turned.
He said, “Ready?”
I nodded.
We drove home silently. Lying in the backseat, Liam breathed quietly. The road hum was the only sound.
When we came home, I looked at Ben.
“I’m done,” I said. “I’m done. If your mother treats me like this, I’m gone.”
Slowly nodding, his eyes weighted with remorse. You’re correct. I should’ve intervened. I apologize.”
He squeezed my hand. “Now we set boundaries.”
The following morning, I received a notice.
Evelyn R.—$275 party balance via Venmo.
Looking at it, I laughed half-heartedly. I clicked “Decline.” Then I blocked her.
A week passed. Two. Nothing from Evelyn.
I got an email from a local event planner. Subject: Megan’s Baby Shower Final Invoice.
Unsure, I opened it.
The location and caterer were the same. Also in billing?
Client: Anna R.
My jaw fell.
I sent it to Ben and contacted the planner to clarify. She apologised excessively and claimed Evelyn stated it was “all arranged.” I demanded she delete my name and send the invoice to Evelyn.
I skipped the baby shower.
These days, I stay away. Evelyn often updates her family online like a TV celebrity. Ben sometimes comes, but he doesn’t force me. Seriously, Liam seldom mentions Grandma. That’s OK.
I discovered something vital.
If people don’t respect you, no amount of kindness will help.
So this year?
I reserved a little lakeside cottage. Just myself, Ben, Liam, and silence.
Unlisted guests. No mics. Announcements without surprises.
Just peace.
And cake.
A large one.
Using candles.
