At our family gathering, my brother-in-law Tom, a successful but cocky lawyer, put down my teacher husband David. A few days later, Tom’s Ferrari broke down, which led to an embarrassing experience on a busy bus that changed the way he thought about success and respect.
I’m 37 years old and my name is Sarah. As a practice, my family holds a reunion at my parents’ house every year. We all get together for the weekend to catch up and talk about the good old days. This year was the same, except that my brother-in-law Tom made his usual grand entry.
Tom is a famous business lawyer who is known for both his legal smarts and his love of showing off his money. To be in style, he was late this time and drove a brand-new, flashy red Ferrari that yelled for attention.
As the family gathered in the front yard, Tom pulled up and revved the engine to let everyone know he was there. Everyone turned their heads, and soon there were a lot of people gathered around the car to admire its sleek look and high-class feel.
Tom enjoyed the praise and talked proudly about the new thing he had discovered. He talked about how fast the car could go, how nice the inside was, and how much it cost, all while smiling smugly. While we were eating and enjoying each other’s company at the dinner table, the talk automatically turned to jobs and money.
David, my husband, started telling a touching story about a student who had worked hard despite a lot of problems. David’s voice was full of love and pride, and for a moment, everyone was glued to his story.
At least, that was the case until Tom stepped in. He leaned back in his chair and smiled smugly. “You’ll never own a car like mine on a teacher’s salary,” he said. That was too low of a goal.
His words were like a knife through butter, making the air cold. Tom’s haughtiness broke the joy of the meeting for a moment, and everyone at the table fell silent.
Lisa, my sister and Tom’s wife, didn’t miss a beat. “Tell me the truth, David,” she said with a smug air, “why did you settle for such a bad job?” You wouldn’t have to live such a boring life if you were ambitious.
David always stayed calm and kind, so he just smiled and shrugged. “I love what I do,” he said in a calm voice. “Teaching gives me a reason to live that money can’t buy.”
When my parents heard the mean things that were said about David, they looked at each other worriedly. My mother cleared her throat and tried to change the subject. “How have things been going at work lately, Tom?”
Tom wasn’t done yet, though. He bragged, “Oh, it’s been great!” ignoring the stress in the room. “Last week I closed another big deal.” With just the bonus, you could buy two of these Ferraris.
David tried to get the subject back on track. “You should know that one of my students just got a scholarship—”
Tom spoke up again. “That’s great, but David, you could really do better for yourself.” Teaching? “Come on.”
Lisa agreed and nodded. “Sarah, don’t you think you deserve more than just getting by?”
I was boiling inside. Tom and Lisa couldn’t put David down like that. When I looked at David, he smiled at me to make me feel better, but I could tell his eyes were hurt.
I couldn’t hold back any longer and snapped, “David’s work is very important.” “Every day he changes people’s lives.”
“Sure, Sarah,” Tom said without much thought. “But how much does it cost?”
As I squished David’s hand under the table, my mind was filled with rage and anger. I tried to keep my voice calm as I said, “You know, Tom. Not everyone defines success by how much money they have or how expensive their car is.”
Tom laughed. “Well, they might want to.”
Again, my dad tried to calm things down. “Let’s all just enjoy our food.” We’re not here to fight; we want to spend time together.
But the harm was already done. The strain was clear from the uncomfortable silence of the rest of the family.
I thought about what I could do as I sat there angry. I wanted to strike out at Tom and Lisa, put them in their place, and protect David’s honor right then and there. I knew that would make things worse and add to the tension at the gathering, though.
I chose to wait instead by taking a deep breath. I was sure that Tom’s pride would finally catch up with him, and that karma would find a way to teach him a lesson. I focused on being there for David for now and squeezed his hand again to let him know I would always be there for him.
David told me a funny story a few days after the meeting. His bag fell to the ground, and he sat down next to me. “You won’t believe what happened to Tom today.”
“What took place?” To be sure, I asked.
David started, “Well, his Ferrari broke down on the way to a big meeting.” “He was stuck and realized he had left his wallet at home. His phone was also almost dead.”
I gave them a raised look. “Care?”
David laughed and said, “Definitely.”
Tom’s bad day began when his Ferrari broke down on the way to a very important meeting. He was stuck and angry when he realized he had left his wallet at home and his phone was almost dead.
Since he had no other choice, he reluctantly went to the closest bus stop. His expensive suit and shiny shoes made him look very out of place among the other commuters.
Along with the other people on the busy bus, Tom felt ashamed. He grabbed a pole to keep himself steady as the bus pulled away from the stop. He looked around and was terrified to see his brother-in-law David sitting in the back of the room and reading a book.
David turned to look at me. A calm smile spread across his face. He waved and told Tom to come with him. Tom had no choice but to walk through the crowded bus, saying sorry to people he bumped into along the way. He finally got to David and sat down, looking awful.
“So, why are you here?” David asked in a friendly but slightly sarcastic way.
“My car broke down,” Tom said, feeling ashamed. “It’ll be there for a few days.”
David said yes, and his smile never went away. “Well, this is how I get to work every day. It’s not so bad to ride the bus after a while.
As the bus went on its way, Tom was having a hard time staying calm. He didn’t like the rough ride or being so close to other people. The bus suddenly hit a bump, and Tom lost his balance. He fell into the lap of an older woman who looked very angry. She scolded him out loud, which made people nearby laugh. Tom’s face turned bright red.
The bus stopped suddenly because of a problem with the mechanics. The bus driver told them they would have to wait for another one because this one couldn’t keep going. Tom sighed in anger as he got off the bus and into the rain.
It got even worse when his phone rang. It was his boss, who was very angry that he had missed the meeting. Tom tried to make reasons, but they didn’t listen. He got in trouble badly and lost a key client as a result.
When the new bus finally came, there were even more people on board. Tom was stuck between two big, sweaty people on the bus because the air conditioning was broken and it was too hot to stand. He got to his destination with a designer suit that was drenched in sweat and expensive shoes that were slippery from mud.
Tom fell in a puddle when he got off the bus because the ground was wet. David offered to help him get up as he was having trouble. “Have a bad day?” David spoke, barely able to hide how amused he was.
Tom gave up and looked up. “You don’t know.”
Tom was late, messy, and embarrassed when he finally got to work. His boss was waiting for him and wasn’t pleased by how he looked or what he had to say. He was immediately downgraded and put in a small cubicle instead of his fancy office. Tom would never forget how hard that day had been and how important it is to be humble and respectful.
The mood at the next family get-together was very different. As we all got together at my parents’ house, I couldn’t help but feel excited. Tom is usually the first to show off his new things and accomplishments, but he seemed surprisingly quiet. He got there on time and without the normal fuss. He then parked his fixed-up Ferrari in a quiet spot down the street.
Everyone was surprised when Tom spoke up in a humble way at dinner. He looked right at my husband and said, “David, I owe you an apology.” Everyone in the room looked at him and then fell quiet.
David seemed shocked as he looked up. “Why, Tom?”
“Because of how I behaved at the last reunion,” Tom said. “What I did was wrong, and I put down your career in a way that was totally unacceptable.” I’ve learned that success isn’t about having lots of stuff. It’s about making a change, which is what you do every day as a teacher.
David gave a warm smile. “Thank you, Tom.” Thank you very much.
