A woman talked about it on Reddit when she changed her mind about hosting the family Thanksgiving dinner she had been doing for twenty years. Because of her brother’s wife, she made the hard choice.
Some people in her family thought it was wrong of her to cancel the dinner, but others agreed with her. She shared her story on Reddit to find out what people she didn’t know thought about her choice.
She invited her mother, children, brothers, and their spouses to her house for Thanksgiving dinner. The woman was 40 years old. Her brother was invited, but his wife sent her a message that made her cancel the party.
So what went wrong that the event had to be canceled?
The first poster (OP) talked about meeting Julie, her brother’s wife, five years ago. Since then, her sister-in-law has always caused trouble at the yearly Thanksgiving dinner, as the Reddit user explained:
“Julie is very big into fad diets (Atkins, keto, South Beach) and every year she sends me a list of foods that she cannot eat and a list of things that she can.”
Julie sent OP a list of things she wanted for the holidays the year before, and OP made sure that her sister-in-law’s special meals were made according to her new diet plan. The yearly family dinner still went wrong, no matter what she did.
Julie got mad at the dinner table because her husband didn’t want to eat ketogenic diet food, OP said about what happened that year. It was a bad night because they fought at the Thanksgiving table, the Reddit user said.
Julie told OP that she was on a special diet because she was trying to get pregnant through in-vitro fertilization (IVF). OP asked Julie’s family to her Thanksgiving dinner this year. Because OP was mad, she texted Julie that she could only make one dish that year and couldn’t do what she asked. OP told her what she told her, saying:
“I texted her back and told her that this year I was making one meal and one meal only and she could either eat what was being served or bring her own food.”
When Julie read OP’s message, she felt offended and responded that her husband’s sister was being selfish by not taking her request into account. That night, she also told her husband how she felt about OP.
OP’s brother yelled at her over the phone the next day for destroying the Thanksgiving food. He also made her think of how Julie had taken care of her food allergies when she was having a BBQ party earlier that year.
In her defense, OP said that her food allergies were life-threatening, and Julie’s diet was her own choice that changed every year. She told him he couldn’t compare the two things. OP’s brother then called their mother, who told him that everyone in the family found it difficult to keep up with Julie’s dietary needs, so she should bring her diet food to family dinners.
When OP discussed the issue with her husband, he suggested she cancel the dinner, and she agreed. She sent a message to everyone that the Thanksgiving dinner was canceled, saying:
“I am serving (Thanksgiving menu). If they want to come over and eat with us, they are welcome to do so.”
After reading OP’s message, her sister, husband, and son supported her decision while her mother believed she shouldn’t have canceled the dinner. She posted her story on Reddit to ask other people for advice.
How Did Reddit Users React to OP’s Story?
A Reddit user named IridescentAxlotl replied to the post saying they’d also made a dietary choice like Julie but never expected other people to cook separate meals. The person said they chose not to burden others because they understood how annoying it could be and explained:
“I do appreciate it when (especially during Thanksgiving) there’s one or two things I can eat.”
The reader added that Julie’s behavior was unacceptable and that OP wasn’t at fault. Another user named thin_white_dutchess confessed to being vegetarian and ended up shifting to a vegan diet because of the person they lived with.
People following a vegetarian diet don’t eat animal meat, but they consume animal by-products such as eggs, milk, and honey. On the other hand, vegans avoid the derivatives as well as following a stricter diet.
Since the Redditor switched to a vegan diet, she started saving money. However, her vegan coworkers always had a problem when she cooked non-vegan food for her family members at dinners, with them hilariously sharing:
“The pot roast I made for my dad had nothing to do with you Sally from HR- I didn’t bring you leftovers.”
Someone else felt people who made “lifestyle choices” were responsible for them and the person hosting them didn’t have to be accommodating. The person also thought comparing lifestyle choices to “deathly allergies” is stupid.
Another Redditor noted how the OP hadn’t “really” canceled Thanksgiving dinner but was having it with everyone invited as long as they accepted her menu or brought their own food. A person who used the platform revealed how they were “less demanding” than Julie even when they were vegan.
They felt Julie’s demand for the whole recipe to be changed for herself or entire meals being made for her was “difficult and unreasonable.” Someone who’s been a vegetarian for 20 years said they never experienced problems over Thanksgiving as they ate a plate of sides.
If something new was made, they’d ask if it was vegetarian-friendly, and if not, they let it pass without any complaints. They appreciated it when family members made something new that they could eat but never had expectations.
Another Redditor thought it was “rude” for Julie to expect a whole meal plan to be made for her as a guest. Seeing how the sister-in-law never brought dishes she could eat or help with making them was seen as “appalling behavior,” adding:
“Julie sounds like a real piece of work and a bad houseguest.”
Someone else saw OP’s response as an open invitation and not a cancelation, with the only cancelation being the cooking of a “separate meal for Thanksgiving.” The person thought OP’s mother could host her own Thanksgiving, come cook for Julie, or ask her daughter-in-law to host the event to accommodate her dietary needs.
Most users supported OP and assured her she wasn’t at fault. If you enjoyed reading this article, you might like this one about a poor mother who worked three jobs to make ends meet after her husband kicked her out.
SOURCe: AMOMAMA
