First chocolates, then full dinners, food began disappearing from Selene’s house. She installed a covert camera after her husband, Tobin, vowed he wasn’t the one responsible. Her blood raced cold when she saw the invader on the video.
Initially, only minor items were going missing from my cupboard and refrigerator. The box I had been preserving had a few chocolates missing. Tobin’s favorite juice boxes were consumed more quickly than usual.
Every time something disappeared, I would check in my mind to see if I had eaten it while in a fog from the previous night.
However, I was aware of my tendencies.
Last week, I could prepare a box of chocolates and enjoy each bite. I wasn’t the kind to eat half a box and move on.
I nevertheless made an effort to justify it.
Tobin might have been getting some midnight munchies. Perhaps I was becoming distracted by work.
Then, however, things deteriorated.
A bottle of wine that I vividly recalled hiding at the back of the cabinet and that we had saved for our anniversary ended up in the recycling bin.
Before the guests came, half of the expensive cheese I had purchased for our dinner party had been consumed.
Every setback was like a little jab to my psyche.
I began to make a list.
Half a box of imported cookies was gone on Monday.
Three pieces of dark chocolate were missing on Wednesday.
Friday: I couldn’t find the particular raspberry jam that I had ordered online.
Not simply because things were disappearing, but also because of what was removed, the pattern drove me crazy.
These were the unique delights, the high-end products I had picked out and eagerly anticipated, not just any old snacks or bland cuisine.
The caviar then vanished. I had bought the high-end Osetra for Tobin’s birthday, not the inexpensive kind. $200 worth of small black pearls that vanished into thin air.
That was sufficient.
The only plausible explanation was that Tobin was secretly munching, even though it wasn’t typical of him. To gain answers, I had to confront him.
One morning, I said in a casual tone, “Hey, hon.” I acquired some Belgian truffles last week; did you eat them?
Tobin’s face furrowed as he looked up from his coffee. “What are truffles?”
My stomach turned over. “The ones behind the cereal on the top pantry shelf.”
He sipped his coffee and remarked, “Didn’t touch them.” “I had no idea we had any.”
I looked for any indication that he was kidding. Tobin wasn’t a liar, but he was many other things. He didn’t eat the chocolates, even if he claimed not to.
This implied that either I was going crazy or our food was being stolen!
“Are you certain?” With a firmer voice, I pressed. “Your birthday caviar is also gone. We kept that wine for our anniversary, too. The one we visited in Napa?
He was interested in that. Tobin’s coffee cup froze before it reached his lips. “What? That product was expensive! Next month, I was anticipating that wine.
“I understand.” I leaned on the counter and crossed my arms. “Someone has been in our kitchen unless we have a fancy mouse with expensive taste!”
I saw him come to that knowledge.
Our home had been visited by someone. Several times. when we were asleep? while we were working? The idea chilled me to the bone.
“Perhaps we ought to install cameras?” Tobin proposed in a nervous tone. “For safety’s sake?”
Slowly, I nodded. Indeed. Excellent idea.
The camera, a tiny wireless device concealed behind cookbooks on the kitchen shelf, was simple to conceal.
I carefully arranged it such that it could see the refrigerator and pantry. I then waited, bouncing whenever a motion alert rang on my phone.
My phone rang two days later while I was at work.
I opened the live feed after sneaking into an empty meeting room.
I wasn’t sure if I was expecting a maintenance worker, a gourmet-tasting intruder, or perhaps a cunning raccoon.
Rather, I watched in amazement as Ramona, my mother-in-law, walked into our kitchen as if she owned it.
With my eyes fixed on the screen, I whispered, “You must be kidding.”
She took a glass of wine and poured the pricey Bordeaux we had been conserving with complete assurance. She even knew where the nice cheese was stored.
I could tell this wasn’t her first raid by the way she walked through our kitchen, opening cabinets without thinking and grabbed things without looking. By no means.
However, what followed chilled my blood.
After her feast of cheese and wine, Ramona stayed. Rather, she proceeded toward our bedroom along the corridor.
Fortunately, I had placed cameras throughout the home as a precaution, but the kitchen camera was unable to follow.
I almost dropped my phone when I turned to the bedroom feed.
I was watching Ramona put on my favorite outfit. She looked in the mirror to examine herself. She was trying on my clothes in addition to stealing our expensive meals!
However, the worst was still to come.
She immediately walked to my underwear drawer and began searching through my lingerie, leaving me speechless.
She took off my dress and put on the satin and lace teddy I had purchased the previous week.
CRAZY! Ramona had broken the border, not merely crossed it.
Why? I’d never gotten along with Ramona, but this was really unsettling. Furthermore, how did she enter our home?
I called in ill the following day. In order to catch my thieving mother-in-law in the act, I concealed in the hallway.
At precisely 2 p.m., Ramona opened the door for her.
As she went through her customary routine—wine, cheese, and, just for good measure, a little caviar—I waited.
She then made her way to the bedroom.
I entered the room as soon as she began searching through my closet.
“Enjoying yourself?” I inquired.
Ramona yelled and spun around so quickly that she almost tripped. “Selene! I was just—
“Exactly what?” Even though I was furious, I spoke calmly. Just trespassing into our residence? Consuming our food? Putting on my panties?
She reddened, but I saw defiance in her eyes rather than guilt.
“I wanted to confirm that your clothes still fit you! As Tobin’s mom, I have an obligation—
“To what? Choose your son’s wife’s attire. I folded my arms. “How did you obtain a key?”
“I got it from Tobin!” She lost her temper. “He invited me to stop by at any time!”
I almost burst out laughing. “Funny, because he’s been as perplexed by the missing food as I have.”
Perhaps terror flashed across her features. However, it soon returned to the arrogant expression I had come to detest.
“Ramona, get out.” Grabbing her by the elbow, I dragged her to the exit. “And give the key to them.”
She withdrew and scowled as if I were a disgusting object she had stepped on. “Selene, this is also my son’s house. I’ll stop by whenever I’d like!
With her nose in the air, she bounded off. However, this was not the end of it.
I showed Tobin the video that evening. In a matter of seconds, his expression changed from bewildered to horrified to enraged.
When I asked, he answered in a tense, angry voice, “I never gave her a key.” “How did she obtain one?”
When Ramona arrived the following morning, pretending nothing had happened, we had our answer.
The entryway was obstructed by Tobin. “Mom. How did you obtain the key?
She gave an innocent blink. “Oh, that? I produced a duplicate! You know, for emergencies.
“Emergencies,” I stated unequivocally. Like a last-minute wine tasting? Dressing up in my clothes for an emergency?
Ramona gave Tobin a sorrowful glance. “Perhaps I wouldn’t have been so interested if you had bought me nice clothes or spoiled your mom with better food, like you do for your wife.”
I was done. It’s time to stop.
“This is the situation. You are providing us with each and every duplicate of that key.
She laughed. “What if I don’t?”
Tobin left a fresh set of locks on the table. “You’ll be wasting your time attempting to enter a house that you are no longer able to enter.”
Ramona’s face contorted in anger as she stood there. Then she slammed it on the counter after yanking a key out of her purse. “All right! However, don’t count on my assistance when you need it!
I grinned. “Oh, we didn’t.”
She slammed the door so forcefully that the windows shook as she rushed out. She sulked for the following few weeks, not wanting to express regret or acknowledge her mistake.
Tobin took the brunt of it, as she inundated him with calls and texts about how irrational I was and that he would regret this in the event of an emergency.
However, he prevented her from using deception to regain entry.
That day, I replaced the locks. I now smile every time I put on an unworn clothing or open my fully stocked refrigerator because I know that my house is once again genuinely mine.
And if Ramona is curious about my food or attire? She will only need to visualize it.
