An 83 year old british gentleman arrived in Paris by plane. As he was fumbling in his bag for his passport a stern French lady asked if he had been to France before. He liked he had indeed been previously. The lady scarcastially said then you should know to have your passport out and waiting sir. The gentleman said i didn’t have to show it last time. Impossible! The woman said, you British have always had to show your passports to get through here! The man passports to get through here! The man responded by whispering, well, when i came…
Author: World Wide
A couples were playing a round of poker one summer night, when one of the husbands, Bob, accidentally dropped a few of his chips on the floor. As he bent down to retrieve them, he couldn’t help but notice that Jay’s wife Kate was touching him with her foot in a very obvious way. Later, Bob went into the kitchen to get some refreshments. Kate followed him and asked, “Do you like what you see?” Surprised by her boldness, Bob courageously admitted that, well, yes, he did. She said, “You can have it, but it will cost you $5000.” After…
A good laugh doesn’t just cheer us up. Scientists are discovering that it can ease pain and even help fight disease. So go on, have a giggle at this hysterical story! A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, “It’s dark in here.” The man says, “Yes, it…
Have you ever been told to do something that just didn’t sit right with you? It’s a frustrating situation, isn’t it? Well, that’s exactly what happened to Etienne Constable when he was ordered to hide his boat behind a fence in his driveway. But Etienne didn’t just comply with the demand, he fought back in the most creative way possible. Etienne lives in a seaside community that has a homeowners association (HOA). HOAs are known for enforcing strict rules that sometimes feel unfair. Stepping outside those rules can lead to fines and other consequences. And Etienne found himself on the…
Norman, an old retired sailor, puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more for old-time’s sake. He engages a woman of the night and takes her up to her room. He’s soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age. But needing some reassurance, he asks, ‘How am I doing?‘ The lady smoothly replies: ‘Well Norman, you old sailor, you’re doing about three knots. ‘Three knots?’ he asks. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?‘ She says, ‘You’re knot hard, you’re knot in, and you’re knot getting your money back.’
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps you when you lie He decides to test it out on his son at supper. Dad says: “Where were you last night?” Son says: “I was at the library.” The robot slaps the son. Son says “OK, I was at a friend’s house.” “Doing what?” asked the father. Son says: “Watching a movie Toy Story.” The robot slaps the son. “OK it was p*rn!” cried the son. Father yells “What? When I was your age I didn’t know what p*rn was.” The robot slaps the father. The mother laughs and says,…
A man brings some flowers home to his wife. She’s so surprised by his romantic gesture that she lays back on the dining table, throws her legs in the air and spreads them. Her husband confused looks down and goes, “What’s that for?” His wife replies, “For the flowers of course.” He thinks for a moment and asks, “Don’t we have a vase?”
An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night and sometimes later, she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule he tried to plow a lot. One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on. All of a…
A Woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes: “USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!” She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed another note: “USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES! “The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from HIM:…
