Have you ever been told to do something that just didn’t sit right with you? It’s a frustrating situation, isn’t it? Well, that’s exactly what happened to Etienne Constable when he was ordered to hide his boat behind a fence in his driveway. But Etienne didn’t just comply with the demand, he fought back in the most creative way possible. Etienne lives in a seaside community that has a homeowners association (HOA). HOAs are known for enforcing strict rules that sometimes feel unfair. Stepping outside those rules can lead to fines and other consequences. And Etienne found himself on the…
Author: World Wide
Norman, an old retired sailor, puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more for old-time’s sake. He engages a woman of the night and takes her up to her room. He’s soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age. But needing some reassurance, he asks, ‘How am I doing?‘ The lady smoothly replies: ‘Well Norman, you old sailor, you’re doing about three knots. ‘Three knots?’ he asks. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?‘ She says, ‘You’re knot hard, you’re knot in, and you’re knot getting your money back.’
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps you when you lie He decides to test it out on his son at supper. Dad says: “Where were you last night?” Son says: “I was at the library.” The robot slaps the son. Son says “OK, I was at a friend’s house.” “Doing what?” asked the father. Son says: “Watching a movie Toy Story.” The robot slaps the son. “OK it was p*rn!” cried the son. Father yells “What? When I was your age I didn’t know what p*rn was.” The robot slaps the father. The mother laughs and says,…
A man brings some flowers home to his wife. She’s so surprised by his romantic gesture that she lays back on the dining table, throws her legs in the air and spreads them. Her husband confused looks down and goes, “What’s that for?” His wife replies, “For the flowers of course.” He thinks for a moment and asks, “Don’t we have a vase?”
An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night and sometimes later, she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule he tried to plow a lot. One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on. All of a…
A Woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes: “USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!” She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed another note: “USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES! “The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from HIM:…
“What’s this about?” he asks the bartender. “That’s our monthly contest. You put in a $20 entry fee and then perform the three acts. If you complete all three successfully you win the pot.” “Cool,” he says. “What are the three acts?” “Well, first, you have to sucker-punch the bouncer,” says the bartender, pointing to a man by the door who is the size of a house. “Then if you’re still okay, we have a pit bull downstairs with an abscessed tooth. You have to pull it out with your bare hands.” “So far I’m not liking this,” says the…
Once he’s arrived, the new rooster walks up to the old one and says, “Listen here, Gramps! This whole farm is mine now!” The old rooster says, “C’mon buddy? At least let me stick around with the old hens? We’ll stay in the back?” The new rooster is adamant “No way! All the hens are mine!”. The old rooster sighs, and offers a proposition: that the two of them race around the farmhouse and if the old rooster wins he can stay on the farm, if he loses then he’ll leave and let the new rooster take over. The only…
The Bartender asks “Rough day?”, the man replies “Yeah, I just found out that my brother is gay”, the Bartender says “Well everyone has their own path”. The next day the man walks into the bar again and says “4 drinks please”, the Bartender asks “Another rough day?”, the man replies “Yeah, I just found out that my oldest son is gay”, the Bartender says “Well that’s his choice”. On the third day, the man walks into the bar again and says “4 drinks please”, the Bartender says “My god, another rough day?”, the man replies “Yeah, I just found…
