There was once a sheep farmer who needed help with the difficult task of castrating some of his inferior male sheep to keep them from breeding with the females. He hired a French guy who didn’t speak English, but was a very good worker. After the first day, they had successfully castrated 14 sheep and his French worker was just about to throw away the ‘parts’, but the sheep farmer yelled, “No! Don’t throw those away! My wife fries them up and we eat them. They’re delicious and we call them ‘sheep fries’.” Later that day, the French hired hand…
Author: World Wide
A blonde goes into a store and sees a shiny object on the shelf. She asks the clerk, “What is that shiny object?“ The clerk replies, “That is a thermos. “The blonde then asks, “What does it do?” The clerk responds, “It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold.“ The blonde says, “Oh! I could use some-thing like that! I’ll take it! “The next day, as she walks into work with her new thermos she spots her boss and shows off her shiny new thermos, “I just got this yesterday, isn’t it wonderful! It’s a thermos and…
The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?” No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!” Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?” Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in…
Married life after 60 ???????? During check-in at airport for a non-stop long-haul flight, the airline staff was very apologetic to the husband and said: “I am sorry sir, the flight is really full today. We couldn’t allot you and your wife adjascent seats. Your seat number is 14A and madam’s is 42H.” Husband: “Oh, thanks. Do I have to pay anything extra to you for this favour ?????” Staff: “No sir, madam has already paid.”????
Three blondes were sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A game warden came up behind them, tapped one on the shoulder and said, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.” “We don’t have any.” replied the first blonde. “Well, if you’re going to fish, you need fishing licenses.” “But officer,” replied the second blonde, “we aren’t fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we’re collecting debris off the bottom of the river.” The warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough,…
Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted by a child’s whispered, “Hello.” “Is your Daddy home?” he asked. “Yes,” whispered the small voice. “May I talk with him?” The child whispered, “No.” Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?” “Yes.” “May I talk with her?” Again the small voice whispered, “No.” Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, “Is anyone else there?” “Yes,” whispered the child, “a policeman.” Wondering what a cop would be…
An 83 year old british gentleman arrived in Paris by plane. As he was fumbling in his bag for his passport a stern French lady asked if he had been to France before. He liked he had indeed been previously. The lady scarcastially said then you should know to have your passport out and waiting sir. The gentleman said i didn’t have to show it last time. Impossible! The woman said, you British have always had to show your passports to get through here! The man passports to get through here! The man responded by whispering, well, when i came…
A couples were playing a round of poker one summer night, when one of the husbands, Bob, accidentally dropped a few of his chips on the floor. As he bent down to retrieve them, he couldn’t help but notice that Jay’s wife Kate was touching him with her foot in a very obvious way. Later, Bob went into the kitchen to get some refreshments. Kate followed him and asked, “Do you like what you see?” Surprised by her boldness, Bob courageously admitted that, well, yes, he did. She said, “You can have it, but it will cost you $5000.” After…
A good laugh doesn’t just cheer us up. Scientists are discovering that it can ease pain and even help fight disease. So go on, have a giggle at this hysterical story! A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, “It’s dark in here.” The man says, “Yes, it…
