A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many side glances from her, he said, “Its golf balls.” Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, thinking deeply about what he had said. After several minutes, unable to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, “Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?”
Author: World Wide
A farmer is in the middle of plowing his field when his tractor runs out of gas. He needs to get back to the farm, but it’s too far for him and his dog, Old Joe, to walk. He wanders out to the road and flags down a sports car. The driver says, “I’ll give you a ride, but that dog can’t get in my car.” The farmer says, “Don’t worry Old Joe will keep up.” The driver decides to show off and open up the engine for max speed. Just as he’s going into fifth gear, he looks out…
A husband exclaims to his wife one day, “Your bum is getting really big. It’s bigger than the BBQ grill!” Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. “What’s wrong?” he asks. She answers, “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-a*s grill for one little weenie?”
The female manager ran out to greet the two male officers as they exited their vehicle. “Please, come quickly.” She said in horror, “We’ve found a peep hole drilled into the changing room. Some pervert has been watching us!” “Don’t worry,” the policeman said reassuringly, “We’ll track down the suspect right away. Please tell all the ladies to go back to their exercising. There’s nothing to worry about anymore.” The gym manager nodded, relieved, “And what about the hole in the wall?” “Rest assured” The other police officer said,… “We’ll be looking into it”
Marriage is full of little moments that range from sweet to downright hilarious. One of the best things about being in a relationship is the playful banter that keeps things interesting. Every couple has their unique way of communicating, often filled with humor, inside jokes, and the occasional prank. This funny story is a perfect example of how one husband decided to get a quick response from his wife when she wasn’t replying to his texts. It started off like any other night—a routine message to let his wife know he’d be home late. But what unfolded next is a…
The husband, who is the one behind the wheel, asks, “What’s the problem, officer?” Officer: “You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.” Man: “No sir, I was going 65.” Wife: “Oh, Harry You were going 80.” (The man gives his wife a dirty look.) Officer: “I’m also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: “Broken tail light? I didn’t know about a broken tail light!” Wife: “Oh Harry, you’ve known about that tail light for weeks.” (The man gives his wife another dirty look.) Officer: “I’m also going to give you a…
At lunch the first boy says, “My dad is the fastest because he is a brick layer & when he drops a brick from the 5th floor he can run to the ground level & be there before the brick hits!” “Not bad,” says the 2nd boy, “But my dad is faster.” “He is a professional archer. When he shoots an arrow at the bulls-eye he can reach it before the arrow does!” “That’s pretty fast,” says the 3rd boy, “But not as fast as my old man.” “My dad works for the Government as a public servant, & when…
While an elderly man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. When he answered, his wife’s worried voice came through, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car driving the wrong way on the 250. Please be careful!” Herman replied, “What do you mean a car? There are hundreds of them!”
A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “See that glass at the end of the bar? I bet you $100 I can pee in it from here.” The bartender laughs and says, “You’re on!” The guy steps back and starts peeing… but completely misses the glass. He’s spraying everywhere—on the bar, on the floor, even on the bartender himself! The bartender bursts out laughing. “Ha! You owe me $100!” The guy shrugs, walks over to a guy at the pool table, they laugh, and some cash exchanges hands. When he comes back, he hands the bartender…
