We encouraged my FIL, Jeff, to move in with us since he appeared adrift without his wife while she was in the hospital. It was all right at first. He stayed to himself, was quiet, and occasionally even pitched in around the house. However, things soon changed. “Have this done by tomorrow,” he said casually as he handed me his laundry and began to treat me like a maid, demanding food and beverages. For golf, I need these.
Then it was time for poker night. The demands increased when his companions showed up. His friends eventually treated me the same way when he yelled demands for refills. I heard him say to my husband as they were leaving, “SEE? A WOMAN SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE THAT. He was treating my MIL in the same way, and my husband was beginning to do the same. That was it.
“AND YOU’LL ALLOW HER TO DO THIS?!” my FIL screamed at my husband the following day.
I clutched a laundry basket as I stood motionless. Mark, my husband, seemed caught between trying to protect me and not upsetting his father. However, I was at my breaking point. “Jeff, I need to talk to you,” I started after putting the basket down and taking a long breath. By themselves.
He arched an eyebrow, obviously taken aback that I dared to speak to him directly. He followed me into the living room and complained, “Okay.” Despite his hesitation, Mark remained in the kitchen and pretended to be preoccupied with the dishes.
I motioned for Jeff to join me as I took a seat on the couch. Reluctantly, he sat across from me and waited for me to say something while crossing his arms.
“Jeff,” I said, maintaining a calm tone, “I know you’re having a difficult time with your wife in the hospital. That does not, however, grant you the authority to treat me as your personal servant. I’m not your maid. Since I’m your daughter-in-law, I should be treated with dignity.
He sneered. “Decency? I am now the head of this household. I’m here to help you and Mark, so you should be thankful.
I gave a headshake. “This is not your residence. We own it. It’s not an invitation to take over, even if we’re glad to have you here. You are not the head of the household; you are a guest.
Jeff got up and pointed a finger at me as his face flushed. “You’ve crossed the line! You must be put in your proper place by Mark.
I stood as well, looking him in the eye without flinching. “I am a partner with Mark. Together, we decide. And perhaps this arrangement isn’t working if you are unable to respect that.
There was silence in the room. Jeff gave me a stern look, but I could detect a glimmer of doubt in his eyes. It was unusual for him to be challenged, particularly by a woman. “We’ll see what Mark has to say about this,” he muttered at the end and hurried out of the room.
I inhaled deeply in an attempt to slow my heartbeat. I was unsure about Mark’s reaction, but I knew I had to speak with him. He was still at the sink, gazing out the window, when I entered the kitchen.
I whispered, “Mark, we need to talk.”
His countenance was troubled as he turned to face me. “What you told Dad, I heard. You know, he’s just… he’s outdated. He has no malicious intent.
I gave a headshake. It’s not about being archaic. Respect is at issue. I need you to defend me, but I’m not asking you to choose between us. For us.
With a groan, Mark combed through his hair. “I understand. You’re correct. I will speak with him.
The days that followed were tense. Mark tried to keep the peace, while Jeff stayed away from me. However, Jeff’s announcement that he would be holding another poker night caused things to flare up once more.
He didn’t even glance at me when he stated, “I’ll need drinks and snacks ready by seven.”
I looked at Mark and he finally said something. “Dad, we must discuss this. You must stop treating her in this manner. It’s unfair.
Jeff squinted his eyes. “So you’re siding with her now? Your father is me!
“And she’s my wife,” Mark firmly answered. “We work as a team. Perhaps you should look for another place to stay if you are unable to respect that.
Jeff appeared as though he was in disbelief that his own kid was confronting him. He withdrew to his chamber, muttering something under his breath.
Mark and I had a conversation that evening. I squeezed his hand and murmured, “I’m proud of you.” “It couldn’t have been simple.”
He gave a feeble smile. “It wasn’t. However, you’re correct. I must behave as though we are a team.
Jeff startled us by apologizing the following morning. He added in an unusually quiet voice, “I’ve been thinking.” “Perhaps I have been too harsh with you. I’m simply I suppose I vented my worries about my wife on you.
I took his apology and nodded. “Everyone here is under a lot of stress.” However, we must encourage one another rather than undermine one another.
Things changed after that day. Without being asked, Jeff began to assist around the house, and he even expressed regret to Mark for his actions. We stopped having poker nights and began having family game nights where everyone participated.
Jeff returned home to care for my MIL after she was released from the hospital a few weeks later. He drew me aside before he departed. In an earnest tone, he said, “Thank you.” “I learned something valuable from you. I’ll make an effort to improve.
I grinned, a sense of success and relief washing over me. “Everyone is learning,” I answered. “That is the purpose of family.”
I became aware of how much we had all changed as I watched him drive off. Although it wasn’t always simple, defending my rights has enhanced my connection with Mark as well as Jeff.
Life Lesson: Standing up for yourself can be the most rewarding and difficult thing to do at times. Any connection must be built on respect, and even inside the family, it’s critical to establish limits. By doing this, you make room for everyone to develop and flourish.
Please tell others who might need a little encouragement if this story spoke to you. Additionally, remember to like and comment—your encouragement is greatly appreciated!
