I have one strict rule: I never lend or give money to family. Not long ago, my sister called me crying. Her 4-year-old daughter was told she has a rare illness. It makes her slowly get worse. Sister asked for money. No, I said. It was a sad goodbye. The next day, I was shocked to learn that my sister had set up…a public fundraiser. Friends started sending me the link and asking why I wasn’t helping, but she never told me about it. The post was very honest about the medical situation, and many people commented with wishes and offers of help. What hurt wasn’t that she asked for help; it was seeing strangers support her while I quickly shut the door. Being honest with myself, I felt bad that I had stuck to my rule without hearing the fear in her words.
I drove to her house that night. Her eyes were red from crying, and she looked very tired. My niece was drawing flowers with crayons on the couch while she was unaware of the weight around her. I said I was sorry, not just for saying no, but also for not being kind to her when she really needed mental support. She wiped her eyes and told me in a whisper that she didn’t want to break my rule but really wanted to give her daughter every chance.
The last time we really talked was at the kitchen table, a long time ago. I offered to help by not only giving her money but also going to meetings with her, running errands for her, and just being there. She gave me a tight hug and thanked me for showing up, not for the money. It made me remember that family isn’t just about giving money; it’s also about being there for each other when life gets hard.
After this, I no longer see my rule as a shield. It should never come before concern in my opinion. We’re taking this journey step by step together, and our bond is stronger than ever. Life tests us not always by making big decisions, but by giving us quiet times when kindness means more than principles. This time, I chose kindness.
