One morning, a husband sat on the couch, peacefully sipping his coffee, when his wife stormed in holding a screwdriver, a wrench, and a confused expression.
“The washing machine is broken,” she announced.
The husband sighed, setting down his mug. “Alright, I’ll take a look at it.”
She crossed her arms. “Oh, so now you’re a washing machine repairman?”
He raised an eyebrow. “I mean, I can try—”
“Careful! CAREFUL!” she suddenly shouted as he knelt beside the washer. “You have to open it properly! Oh my GOD! Do you even know what you’re doing?! LEFTY LOOSEY, RIGHTY TIGHTY! No, no, NO! Not like that! You’ll break it! Do you even know what that part does? WHERE ARE THE INSTRUCTIONS? Did you even read the instructions?!”
The husband blinked up at her. “Honey, I—”
“Be careful with that screwdriver! You’re going to electrocute yourself! DO YOU WANT TO DIE?! Maybe you should call a professional! Oh my GOD, you never listen! Why are you even touching that?! USE A WRENCH! A WRENCH, FOR THE LOVE OF—”
The husband slowly stood up, dusted off his hands, and looked her dead in the eye.
“Now you know what it feels like when you cook dinner.”
He is expected to regain consciousness in a few days.
A husband and wife were arguing over who should brew the coffee each morning.
A husband and wife were arguing over who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, “You should do it because you wake up first. That way, we don’t have to wait for coffee.”
The husband replied, “Well, you’re in charge of the cooking, so brewing coffee should be your job. I don’t mind waiting.”
The wife, not missing a beat, said, “No, it’s your responsibility. And besides, it says in the Bible that the man should make the coffee.”
The husband raised an eyebrow.
“Really? I don’t believe that. Show me where it says that.”
Smiling, the wife grabbed the Bible, flipped it open, and pointed to the top of several pages.
“There,” she said triumphantly, “Hebrews.”
