My dad used to tell me to shower with cold water. He always said, “You smell terrible, go shower with cold water and use the soap I gave you.” And I did it like five times a day — it was driving me nuts. My mom used to stay quiet, which was weird because we were usually very close.
One day my boyfriend, Silas, came over. I finally asked him, “Do I smell bad?”
He laughed, thinking I was joking, and went to the bathroom. A moment later, he returned with a pale expression on his face, holding the soap I used to shower.
“Who gave you this?! Do you shower with cold water using this?!”
My blood ran cold. “Yes, why?!”
He started crying: “They didn’t tell you, did they?! Honey, this ain’t soap! It’s used for–”
He choked up, unable to finish his sentence.
I grabbed the bar from his hand. It looked like regular soap to me. Beige, a little chalky, no scent. I had used it for years, ever since my dad brought it home after one of his “business trips.”
Silas took a deep breath. “This is lye soap mixed with sulfur compounds. It’s not made for regular use. My uncle used something like this when he was treating infections in animals on the farm. It’s not for daily human use, especially not five times a day in cold water!”
I felt dizzy. My skin had always been dry and itchy, but I thought that was just me. My dad said it was because I had “sensitive skin.”
Silas sat me down. “Baby… this could damage your skin, your hormones… even mess with your immune system long-term if it gets absorbed too much.”
I stared at him, my heart pounding. “Why would my dad do that?”
Silas shook his head. “I don’t know. But this isn’t right. You need to see a doctor.”
That night, everything spiraled.
I confronted my mom while Dad was out. Her hands trembled as she wiped the kitchen counter over and over, not meeting my eyes.
“Mom, why have you let him do this? Why?!”
She finally broke. “He said it was for your own good. That you had something wrong inside you. That the special soap would help you stay healthy.”
“Healthy?! Mom, this could’ve made me sick!”
Tears rolled down her face. “I didn’t know what to believe. He was so convincing. And every time I questioned him, he said I was being ungrateful. That I didn’t want what was best for you.”
That was the first time I realized how scared she was of him.
Silas insisted on coming with me to the doctor. After several tests, the doctor confirmed what Silas suspected — my skin was damaged, my hormone levels were slightly off, but thankfully nothing irreversible. I was lucky.
Still, the bigger question haunted me — why had my father done this?
The next time I saw him, I confronted him head-on.
“Dad, why? Why the soap? The cold showers? Why lie to me for years?”
He didn’t flinch. “You were born weak. Prone to illness. I read about natural detoxification methods. This soap was part of that. And the cold water stimulates the immune system.”
“But FIVE times a day?!” I shouted. “You never consulted a doctor, never asked for a second opinion. You just… experimented on me!”
His eyes narrowed. “You’re alive, aren’t you?”
I couldn’t believe the coldness in his voice.
It took me months to process everything.
Turns out, my father had been obsessed with alternative medicine forums. He believed he was saving me, but he crossed the line into control and paranoia. My mom had been emotionally manipulated for years, terrified to stand up to him.
I moved out. Silas and I got our own place. My mom started therapy — something I never thought she’d have the courage to do. And I cut my father off. Completely.
Now, two years later, I finally feel free.
The damage wasn’t just physical — it was emotional. I had to unlearn so much: the guilt, the shame, the fear of questioning authority. But I did it.
Silas stood by me through everything. Some nights, I’d wake up crying, feeling phantom burns on my skin. And he’d hold me, whispering, “You’re safe now.”
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this:
Blind trust, even in family, can be dangerous. Always ask questions. Don’t let fear or guilt silence your voice.
Sometimes love means protecting yourself — even from the people who claim they’re doing what’s “best” for you.
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